Meet Jan

Mom was omnipresent and loving. For years, on the first day of school, I had paralyzing separation anxiety. My brother and I were to be seen but not heard as Dad worked while going to night-school for 12 years. He diminished Mom’s role as a homemaker. I swore never to be beholden to anyone.

So, I got busy, painting rocks to sell as paperweights from the front yard.

Expressive and creative, I listened to music for hours on end and was ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.” As a teen, I embraced punk rock’s irreverence and style and tasted freedom while oil painting.

Dad was laid off as I applied to college, crystallizing my need for self-sufficiency. I kicked the artist to the curb and dyed my hair back to avoid standing out in job interviews.

For decades, my achievement quest and perfectionist tendencies owned me in a financial services career with long hours, prestigious assignments and C-suite roles.

When the company where I was a senior executive was acquired, I felt like an outsider and self-doubt roared back. Miserable, I left, like Superman succumbing to kryptonite.

My lingering burnout caused my immune system to crater, and I acquired a rare, life-threatening infection. Miraculously and over my doctor’s dismissiveness, I self-diagnosed it, guided by my intuition, which was struggling to be heard. After days in the hospital and weeks of intravenous antibiotics, I recovered. I told myself, never again.

Years later, my second entanglement with burnout was like a train slowly coming at me as office politics, frustration and fear consumed me. Layers of “veneer” had hardened into armor, burying me beneath.

I was saved by acts of love – intentional self-development and executive coaching with a mind-body-heart-spirit approach.

No longer awakening on weekdays to a cortisol surge, I began living with true agency, which is the capacity to influence your thoughts and behavior, and to trust your ability to handle whatever arises.

By learning to value myself, be present, adopt healthy habits and embrace ongoing self-development, I could be clear, compassionate and decisive no matter what the situation. The armor fell away, revealing the freshness beneath.

I committed to build upon this – and my passion for leading and developing others – by becoming a coach.

Mom died from cancer Christmas morning 2018. Hours later, my room lit up. A voice said, “Live a fierce life.”

A deep peace enveloped me.